Since the start of the current pandemic, and in the recent years preceding it, world events have been bleeding into therapy sessions. With more recent events, things are bleeding even more, including many of our hearts. We’ve been divided in many facets. I believe we need to find a way to come together.
As a therapist, I feel I’m in a place to be an advocate for peace—first and foremost within ourselves. Whether it’s race, religion, sex or sexual orientation, differences in age, financial status, political stance, mental illness, body type, or how we respond differently to world or traumatic events--how can we open ourselves up to find peace within, and then be in a better place to come together as one?
It is time to share. We all have had enough unrest in one way or another about the issues presented above. It can be paralyzing. We are in need of forward progress.
I personally do my own inner work about what I encounter during my lifetime. It goes far beyond what happened last week, what may happen tomorrow, or in the coming months. Feeling oppressed, suppressed, silenced or excluded has been going on for years, decades, and centuries. In different shapes and forms, most of us have been affected, or continue to be affected. Everything we say, or that has been said and done, affects someone.
Also as a therapist, I hold onto an awareness of how my own personal beliefs show up in my therapy room. I hold space for people. I can be a light not only to my clients in exploring and healing their own pains and learned beliefs. I can also shine that light onto myself, so I can allow someone to move at their own pace, and in their own direction.
I personally have friends and family that have opposing views. Yet, we’ve been able to give each other the respect of each other’s opinions. As a result, we have remained intact for many years.
There will be some that cannot tolerate differing viewpoints other than their own. Can we give them the respect of their opinion, and forgive them for what they do not know or understand? This does not always mean the relationship will work out, but with forgiveness (as difficult as it may be) you can walk away with your own mental health intact.
So, what can help us? Some has already been alluded to above. I sincerely hope these words help you—help you find ways to heal, help give you hope, help give you solace, and help you find strength to persevere and take care of yourself. We are always, “becoming”. It is my personal belief that we can find ways to “become” together.
Give each other the respect of our opinions. No matter what someone says, it will not change a person’s mind. In fact, I learned that the more people try to persuade you to hold onto the same beliefs as they have, the more it tends to reinforce what we already have found to believe ourselves. Can we find a way to live and let live?
We all have a need to be heard. This goes beyond our physiological needs, and our needs for safety, love and belonging. It goes to our needs of esteem—which includes respect, self-esteem, status, recognition, strength, and freedom. We may struggle to find our voice, and struggle even more when we don’t feel heard. What do you need to ask for, or find within yourself, in order to feel heard?
Above all, we need to love ourselves first. We need to get to know ourselves so we can know how to take care of ourselves first. We cannot help anybody else until we have the mental space left over so we don’t end up depleted. What can you do to take care of you? What do you need?
Know that we are of mind, body and spirit. Our mind, our body, and our brain is all interconnected. When we don’t feel good physically, we are not at our best. When we are not at our best mentally, it can affect us physically.
Please look here for more on why our mental health is equally as important as our physical health. I’ve since learned more about the mind/body/brain connection by being educated on the physiological and psychological underpinnings behind the practice of Brainspotting. I’ve seen that when people’s mental concerns are resolved, body issues have also became resolved, including pain. Pain can be mental or physical, and many times both.
Be mindful of what’s going on inside of you. It can get complicated. Whatever we may have been experiencing before world events can exacerbate your feelings. We re-experience the feelings of our pain, our anxieties, our traumas, our feelings of oppression, and our struggles. It is trauma on top of trauma. It affects our world deep down inside of us.
We can’t distance ourselves from each other. Evolutionary psychology tells us that we may run from what we have a hard time understanding, seeing, tolerating, or agreeing with. We can feel uncomfortable. We can be scared to go near it.
Be okay with someone different than yourself, or with a differing opinion. The best thing we can do, for the benefit of our own personal growth, is to learn lessons as we go along in life. We then can say we’ve done our best to allow our minds to lead a life of generativity vs. stagnation.
If you’ve been struggling, and feel you need help, please don’t hesitate to reach out here. You will receive a space of non-judgment, freedom of speech, and help with what your goals are for change from within. Also, please don’t hesitate to share this with someone you feel could benefit from these words.
Amy
1. Give each other the respect of our opinions.
2. We all have a need to be heard.
3. Above all, we need to love ourselves first.
4. Know that we are of mind, body and spirit.
5. Be mindful of what’s going on inside of you.
6. We can’t distance ourselves from each other.